The Relative Value of Meaninglessness

I’m not supposed to care about any of this, and I know that. Dukakis in a tank, George Bush checking his watch, John Kerry windsurfing… these are distractions, played on loop by the media, as the real issues that impact the American people are ignored. I promise, I really do get that. But…

Every now and then you step back and think “wow — John Kerry really did look like an out of touch elitist in that clip,” or (and more fun for us liberals) “Bush looks like a kid playing dress-up on that aircraft carrier.” These are the little moments that have nothing to do with policy or issues that really do crystallize perceptions. They can work the other way as well — Clinton did look pretty cool playing sax on Arsenio back in ‘92, and we got the message: “George Bush is a patrician old man who is just too dignified to do this.”

Sometimes, candidates go overboard trying to “relate to the people.” This can lead to disaster (“Who let the dogs out?”), or just head scratching confusion. Remember a few years ago when all the strategists claimed that “NASCAR dads” were the new “soccer moms?” (sidenote: I’ve never grown tired of throwing the word -gate on the end of every scandal, but I’m certainly glad that all those old demographic nicknames for swing voters have worn themselves out). Anyway, I remember rural Democratic specialist, Mudcat Saunders, advising Bob Graham to sponsor a car back in 2004, and while the car wasn’t mocked, it also clearly didn’t connect Graham to rural Democrats very successfully. Giuliani played the NASCAR card as well this year, sending his campaign bus to weirdly circle the racetrack at about 30mph. That probably would’ve gotten more play on TV if it hadn’t come in the final days of the Rudy campaign, when most people had stopped paying attention to his events.

NASCAR is a pretty stupid measure of averageness though. Maybe that’s just self-declared, and I know all the stats about it being the second most watched sport in this country, or something like that — but it occurs to me that however many people watch NASCAR, the rest of the country knows nothing about it. It’s sort of a competitive illustration of the divisions in this country. Understanding NASCAR may give a candidate a bump in some parts of the country, but failing to understand NASCAR probably won’t be a much-parodied TV moment. It just isn’t something universal enough… not like bowling.

Which brings me around to Barack Obama’s weekend in an Altoona bowling alley. The man is getting hammered on the late-night, morning and cable shows for bowling a 37 (!), all while wearing his tie. And yeah, it’s bad. He kinda deserves it. Everyone bowls — maybe not everyone to a person, but at least every demographic group. It transcends age, race, gender, politics, and region. Okay, it admittedly doesn’t transcend class as much, but the whole averageness test is supposed to exclude the social elite.

Hillary rightfully took advantage of it today, challenging Obama to a bowl-off for the nomination and even promising to spot him two frames. That was smart politics — too playful to be seen as negative, helps to perpetuate that whole effete stereotype Obama has in some quarters, and shows that she has a sense of humor. Plus, its about time a Democrat engaged in (social) class warfare, rather than ceding that ground to Republicans who always get to have their fun with the latte liberals.

All in all, not the biggest deal in the world. Obama is good on the issues that matter to me, he can give a good talk, and I think he will make a good President. Maybe even a great President — we certainly are due for greatness. But I have to admit, I do wish he could bowl.